Grown up?

Okay, it's been months.
I got a job. I loved it. And then I hated it. As much as I love photography, I hate explaining how it works to every single person that came into the store. But I loved selling cameras... and on the rare occasion that someone came in that could actually talk shop with me.... oh that was heaven.
But. Then my life changed. I begged my way onto the Wizard with my uncle.... essentially a one way ticket to Alaska and an amazing opportunity to take pictures of the things that people really only see on TV.
So I quit my job. It seemed easier than trying to figure out how to take three weeks off to go on an adventure.
And we moved to Portland. I was miserable in Seattle. I had no social life.... something insanely new for me.... So Nik and I made the leap to moving in with friends. Technically I lived in Portland the day before I left for Alaska.... but not really. All my stuff was there... and my heart and mind were already in the Gulf of Alaska and in my stateroom on the Wizard.
Now, I could describe my two weeks on the Wizard, and at some point I will write it all down because I was smart enough to keep a journal. Let me just say I only threw up once from sea sickness, I had an amazing time, Dutch Harbor treated me REALLY well.... and a sad really short two days after I arrived in Dutch I was on a tiny, terrifying little prop plane on my way to Anchorage and then onto Portland.

My popularity statistics for the week of 10/14

From the moment I landed in Portland there is only one word that can describe how I felt: RESTLESS. I was wishing with my whole soul that I was back in Alaska on a grand photo adventure. More than a thousand photos later.... being on that ship for two weeks finally gave me the motivation to do what I've been waiting to do my whole life... Be a photographer. The thousands of Deadliest Catch fans looking at my Facebook Photography Page helped too... Compliments on my work were pouring in and I watched the numbers climb from hundreds of people seeing my page to more than sixteen thousand. That was a little jaw dropping for me.... and a really good reality shock. My friend Megan convinced me to yet again apply for my dream job: being a photographer for a cruise line. My hurting bank account decided this was a very good idea.... along with applying for a multitude of jobs in Portland. I stalked Norwegian Cruise Lines' website and found they were having a hiring fair in Portland.... and so began my nerves. I had applied over and over again to multiple cruise lines and had never heard anything back.... Because I realized that I was just ANOTHER art school grad with no REAL experience. But, I convinced myself that if I could just an interview, my fabulously infectious personality would do the rest for me. I was BORN for cruise life.
I impressed the first woman who interview with me. I might have thrown in that I had just freelanced for Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch.... but I DID. Then began the lovely waiting game.
I was on my way to Ashland for a weekend (for my sanity) to see my friend Dan play Romeo in Oregon Shakespeare Festival's Romeo & Juliet and spend the weekend with my friend from high school, Tucker. On the way there, about an hour into my drive I got a call from a number in Miami. (Commence freak out) The woman scheduled me for my second (first really) interview for the next Monday morning. (Commence second freak out and calling everyone I know. While driving. Yes, I know Mom, that's illegal)

Ashland

All I have to say about my time in Ashland is that I feel sorry for Tucker having to put up with me freaking out about an interview that could potentially change everything I wanted.... and I would actually have an income again. Oh, and Romeo and Juliet was amazing. That too. It was a perfect weekend minus the stress... walking around Ashland drinking coffee and taking pictures, curling up with a book in a small cafe and going to both a play and a costume party in one night. It felt like I had my social life back. It was heaven. I even extended my trip by a day and had my interview from my amazing Skype app on my phone before packing up my stuff and trying to remind myself to breathe the entire way back to Portland.
She had said she would be in touch by that Friday. Friday came and went and the few people that I had told about the interview called and texted and checked in to see if I had gotten the job, as they were sure I would, and as the day went on I sank even more into my couch in my sweatpants and a deep bit of self loathing.

The photo I donated to Elegant Affair for an auction piece

They didn't call. I proceeded to hate every photo I had ever taken and curse getting my degree in photography because NO ONE WOULD EVER HIRE ME.  I was obviously un-hire-able. Nik was very near smacking me.
Monday came again and I called and left a message checking in on the status of my interview. No answer. And no return call. So I gave up. I messaged my friends abroad, a few of my close friends from France and attempted to figure out what I was going to do. Going home was the top of my list, to get back on my feet again. But that's the last thing I really wanted.... But I didn't want to stay in Portland. I've barely been here a month, and it's beautiful.... But not somewhere I wanted to call home for now.
A friend messaged me back and told me about how she's an au pair. Perfect. Problem solved. It wasn't going home and it wasn't staying here. It was going to give me opportunity to travel. To be in Europe and take pictures and figure out what I really wanted again. I applied to a few families and had two get in touch with me within that couple of hours... One in France and one in Ireland.

Nik the book nerd. My first portraits in months

AND THEN NORWEGIAN CALLED. AND OFFERED ME A JOB.
I won't lie. I screamed when I got off the phone. And almost cried I was so happy. And then called Nik, my mom, my dad, my brother, my grandparents, Gail, my cousin, my aunt. Everyone. And proceeded to text everyone in my recent texts as well.

So now, as I sit here in my somewhat clean Portland apartment awaiting my assignment of location and drinking a glass of wine (Old Moon Old Vine Zinfandel from Trader Joes.... delicious).... I feel like a grown up. Sort of.

Nik, being fabulous for me today during light tests

I get to travel. And work my ass off seven days a week for six months doing something that I LOVE. (Dream job... remember?) And then I'll proceed to buy my plane ticket to Ireland for next summer and possibly pick up another contract in the fall. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm finally ready to do what I've been waiting for after picking up the pieces of my broken life in Savannah.

So we'll see how this goes.

I also get the fabulous position of playing photographer for the next few days. My favorite model (and one of my favorite writers) Kaitlin McMillan is coming to play dress up with me and do amazing amounts of photo shoots while on her way to Seattle. Pictures to come. Amazing ideas flying everywhere.... She and I do good things together. I can't wait. 




Ready, set, go.