Okay, I'll admit it. I've been listening to Avicii's Wake Me Up on repeat for days. It makes me want to dance, makes me want to cry, makes me want to want. And these past few days have been interesting. After working for Norwegian Cruise Line for an entire year, I sent in my resignation from sunny St. Kitt's on Monday.
But wait, I'm sure you're thinking that my life looks like any traveler's dream... The Caribbean for four out of every nine days, New York City in the interim, then switching ships and sailing down the Mississippi out of New Orleans and landing myself in Cozumel, Costa Maya, Belize, Honduras, the Caymans and Jamaica.
Yes, it has been wonderful. And as I'm sitting here in a hotel room a mile away from JFK airport and the insane amount of city lights surrounding me, I'm missing the ocean already. There is nothing like living at sea- especially at night. Being on a floating city, surrounded by your own lights, listening to the waves break from the bow, the lovely breeze off the Atlantic or the Gulf of Mexico or the Caribbean Sea and sounds of music from somewhere.... and all the stars in the sky above the glorious black of the sea.... This hotel room is far from where I want to be. And I almost wonder if I will regret leaving, but I think that it's best to walk away with the memories I have for now. Taking this job, my "dream job" if you will, gave me so many things, but makes me miss so many others. I know that I can't have the best of both worlds... But I want to.
Saying goodbye to this city tomorrow morning and flying into Portland will be going back to the real world. In the last three weeks, I've said goodbye to so many people that I don't know when I will see again, and it breaks me just a little bit. My little Latvian, my crazy South African's, the Filipino Mafia, all my loving Eastern European boys, the best Nepalese boy with a camera I'll ever meet, the older, more fabulous, Aussie version of myself, a few insanely wonderful Brits, my amazing Kiwi sister, and then the other American's that are as crazy as me and love life on ships. It wrecks my soul to not have them around me on a daily basis... And it might just kill me to not be on the water, waking up in a different tropical, beautiful place every single day.
At least for a few months. I know I have other adventures in store this upcoming summer with Semester at Sea. And that will reunite me with some of the people I've met in the past year.
But ships change you. Life at sea is different, time is different. Friendships happen in moments and last forever, relationships happen in a blink of an eye and are over just as quick. Two weeks is two months, one night's party is 10 days of gossip, one kiss spreads rumors like wildfire. You dance all night and work all day, just to wake up and lay in the sunshine with a mojito or mango daiquiri in hand... massages on the beach before working a nine hour shift... then drinking all night until the sun comes up and you start all over again. And work, work work. SEVENTY FIVE HOURS A WEEK... work. Take a million pictures, let your eyes bleed from staring at a screen, take in the amazing views of the ocean all day. Fall asleep to waves crashing and listening to every noise the ship has to make, cuddling in a twin bed, shower curtains that cling to your body every day, sand everywhere always. And work, and drink a beer and repeat. Sneak into the buffet, coffee and croissants every morning, dancing down the hallways, celebratory songs... ship to ship calling. Finding good wifi is like finding gold, and the anti social tendencies of every crew member with wifi is ridiculous. Pink wine and friends with ridiculous names, loving people when you don't even know where their country is.... Ships are crazy. Crazy, beautiful and full of amazing memories and I'm so sad to walk away. Getting on the plane tomorrow means it's over for now, and I know I already miss it... but I need nights in a real bed, a bottle of wine, my cat, my best friends, cell service, real wifi. COOKING MY OWN FOOD... And maybe staying in the same place for a little bit will be nice.
We'll see how this goes. I'm already restless and can't wait for Europe, and don't know if I'm buying a flight back from there at all.... So many places are calling my name, and my camera and I are ready. I took almost 60,000 images this year. I'm ready. I know where to start.
