Fo...cus.

Right.
Not able to do that at all. I feel like the hours of every day are so slow and the days are so fast. Everything is scheduled for the same time, and I watch the minutes tick by on my laptop in classes, but then the class is over, the day is over, the week flies by and I somehow only have three of each class left. Maybe I just need to make a to do list. And a list of classes. Things that are due in each class. My hours of work.
Even though I have a smart phone, and can put all this stuff in it, it still doesn't seem to be helping me. In two weeks I'll be in St. Louis with all my print friends, but regardless, I'm not quite ready for the conference. Nor am I ready for the end of the quarter to actually happen, but I'm ready for it to be over. I feel like time has just moved so fast over the last 10 weeks.

It's been overwhelming as well listening to lectures about money every day in multiple classes. As much as I try and avoid it, I feel like my life is revolving around money... or the lack thereof. The tools that I need for my industry are so expensive, though I feel like so much of it is upfront costs, not necessarily things that I have to purchase over and over again...

5D Mark II: $3,299. 50 mm 1.4 $379. 27" iMac $1699. Lensbaby Composer kit $449. WD 2TB external $137..... $5963.00....... 

CS5 Student Price $299, Lightroom 3 Student $81.56.... Bringing my total to... $6344... rounded up of course....

That's just to start. Just getting up and running. There are so many elements that fall into it, as well as the fact that I have to purchase things such as CS5 and Lightroom 3 before I graduate, which then would need to be downloaded on both my laptop and my iMac.... there are just so many components to do what I love. But, it is what I love and what I want to do.

It's hard to focus on school when I just want to move, and to go and to shoot. And travel. Everywhere. I feel like I don't want to be tied to anything at all, and though I'm not technically tied to anyone anymore, I have so many EVENTS that I'm tied to. I would love to just be a cruise ship photographer for a while... make some money, meet some people and just SEE places, but what am I going to do about the weddings I'm attending and shooting? Those aren't for months, so it's not as if I can sign a contract to go out to sea for 6 months and just take off for those weddings. It's not how it works.

I just can wait to clear my head... both over spring break and after I graduate. I just need to go, to drive, to be able to come back and be inspired again. But of course the planning involved in everything is just consuming me.