So, this past weekend I went to the Sasquatch Music Festival. Might I throw in there, this was my first ever music festival, and I kinda knew what to expect, but was definitely in for a treat.
After five nights of sleeping in our car and seeing more than twenty bands plus catching tid bits of others while walking by... my body and my feet hurt. In that not-going-to-be-able-to-get-out-of-bed kind of way. But this weekend was the best I've had in a long time. Not only did I get to swoon over ridiculously talented, famous, singing to me men... but I remembered why I loved art school so much. The entire weekend was composed of people wearing crazy things all the time. I dressed up as a lion on Friday, prowled around our camp making growling noises at my friends, danced like a crazy person to one of my favorite bands (Of Monsters and Men) and then SERIOUSLY danced to Girl Talk and Pretty Lights. All while dressed as a LION. And not one person looked at me like I was odd or out of place, they just walked by and told me how awesome I was. Or that I was "SO creative to be able to make our Crayola tank tops.
Sigh. That's what art school was like. I could be that crazy dressed up person and no one would bat an eyelash.
Yet here I sit (in my delightful tempur pedic bed that I've been missing for days) in one of the most creative and artistic cities in the west.... feeling nothing like that. Perhaps I just feel ridiculously disheartened by the biggest thing that's been bugging me lately... the fact that everyone who owns a DSLR thinks they're a photographer. And yes, they get some pretty good shots, when everything you shoot is awesome to start off with.
I didn't even take my camera with me this weekend. I contemplated it... but decided against taking my only expensive possession to a weeks worth of dirt, dust and the possibility to get scratched, spilled on or stolen. That, and I didn't realize that I would have been able to get a press pass. Because the people with press passes....90% of them were not real photographers. They had their cameras on auto, shooting the flashes off their Rebels with their kit lenses. Ugh. I won't just rant about it, but it drives me crazy. Because these are sadly the people who have jobs in the photography field. At least around here. Because they have a client base, they have friends that want "professional pictures" done, and they've shot a wedding and then put instagram filters on everything (note my hipstamatic accompanied photos).
And here I sit, jobless and clientless with my 3g camera and my BFA. But these are the people that make me not want to shoot anymore, make me feel like my work is just the same old thing with higher megapixels. Being in an environment that I could be crazy this weekend made me realize how
"normal" I've become since I left Savannah... and that scares me.
It's been almost a year since graduation, and close to 9 months since I've been surrounded by art school kids... the ones that bring me culture, inspiration and support. I'm praying every day to find that here, but I don't know where to keep searching. And as I read my friend's blogs... They feel the same way. Mackey's blog makes me laugh like a crazy person, and inspires me in a way that only words can.... but I feel like I'm lacking the creativity in my work that she is in her words. (http://mackeymil.blogspot.com/)
But this weekend was good for me. It made me realize all of this, made me want to be back at the top of the crazy instead of somewhere in the normal pyramid. And I relished in it. I wore whatever I wanted, sang at the top of my lungs and danced like a crazy person. It was amazing. So I'll leave you with they lyrics of my new favorite song by the band fun. (of which I have fallen in love with Nate Ruess, their lead singer. OMG). But I feel like this song sums up my life right now.... every bit of it. Because some nights I just call it a draw. 
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