Fo...cus.

Right.
Not able to do that at all. I feel like the hours of every day are so slow and the days are so fast. Everything is scheduled for the same time, and I watch the minutes tick by on my laptop in classes, but then the class is over, the day is over, the week flies by and I somehow only have three of each class left. Maybe I just need to make a to do list. And a list of classes. Things that are due in each class. My hours of work.
Even though I have a smart phone, and can put all this stuff in it, it still doesn't seem to be helping me. In two weeks I'll be in St. Louis with all my print friends, but regardless, I'm not quite ready for the conference. Nor am I ready for the end of the quarter to actually happen, but I'm ready for it to be over. I feel like time has just moved so fast over the last 10 weeks.

It's been overwhelming as well listening to lectures about money every day in multiple classes. As much as I try and avoid it, I feel like my life is revolving around money... or the lack thereof. The tools that I need for my industry are so expensive, though I feel like so much of it is upfront costs, not necessarily things that I have to purchase over and over again...

5D Mark II: $3,299. 50 mm 1.4 $379. 27" iMac $1699. Lensbaby Composer kit $449. WD 2TB external $137..... $5963.00....... 

CS5 Student Price $299, Lightroom 3 Student $81.56.... Bringing my total to... $6344... rounded up of course....

That's just to start. Just getting up and running. There are so many elements that fall into it, as well as the fact that I have to purchase things such as CS5 and Lightroom 3 before I graduate, which then would need to be downloaded on both my laptop and my iMac.... there are just so many components to do what I love. But, it is what I love and what I want to do.

It's hard to focus on school when I just want to move, and to go and to shoot. And travel. Everywhere. I feel like I don't want to be tied to anything at all, and though I'm not technically tied to anyone anymore, I have so many EVENTS that I'm tied to. I would love to just be a cruise ship photographer for a while... make some money, meet some people and just SEE places, but what am I going to do about the weddings I'm attending and shooting? Those aren't for months, so it's not as if I can sign a contract to go out to sea for 6 months and just take off for those weddings. It's not how it works.

I just can wait to clear my head... both over spring break and after I graduate. I just need to go, to drive, to be able to come back and be inspired again. But of course the planning involved in everything is just consuming me.

I'll Be There For You

It's oh so fun to be a starving artist. I haven't been to the grocery store in six weeks. It's horrible. I've got a lovely things like cheese, crackers, chicken, rice and corn. That's really about it. I think that I'm going to apply for another job, just because as much as my box office income is good, it really doesn't work to well when I'm living on that paycheck to paycheck just to make rent. It's kind of an indication on how the future is going to be I'm sure, but I hope that it won't be that bad and that I can still have some form of expendable income... hence the need for the second job.
But today. On my lovely day off when I have no plans at all, I'm just sitting and watching Season 4 of Friends. Which truly is my favorite thing to do, to make me happy. To make me not worry about everything else going on and feel better. Nothing quite like a lazy day. Which I'm sure will turn into a job search at some point.... 

I Think I'm a Mis-Matched Sock

Laundry is the most constant thing in my life. And the dishes. They both just pile up every day and accumulate until I'm drowning in them.
Right now I feel like a mismatched sock. Which, might I add I have more than 30 of. Half of these socks I had no idea I even had. And I kinda feel like them right now; off to the side and just waiting for something to happen to me. Waiting for my match to miraculously appear from the dryer. Or a drawer. Or under the bed.
Anyway. I'm horrible at writing down my actual thoughts. I try to. I have THREE notebooks in my purse. My little black book (I've written on the first 5 pages) my little brown book (4 pages) and my yellow book (6 pages). I think about writing all the time, and my head thinks in these grand, rambling sentences. But I can never manage to find time to put pen to paper, which saddens me, because I can find so much to type. I type all day, every day. Thousands of words, and it takes me half the time that it would to write it down (which is 90% of my appeal I suppose), but it drives me crazy sometimes to not be able to actually write what I want. To create an actual piece of paper that has words on it, not just a digital reference. I suppose I'm rambling, but I feel the same way about my artwork right now. Everything is digital, on the computer, not something that I'm touching and feeling and MAKING. That's why I love printmaking so much, but even that just feels like such a bit of digital imagery to me right now, even though it shouldn't because I'm making huge monotypes full of ink and I'm usually a hot mess and covered in ink when I'm finished. But besides those actual moments when I'm covered in ink.... I feel like a mismatched sock.





And a quote from my grandmother to leave this off: "Carly you can do anything you put your mind to. ANYTHING. I just hope you don't decide to be president because I think I'm getting to old for the campaign trail."

Interview with the AMAZING Matt Armendariz

For my business class, my professor had us conduct interviews with photographers that we found inspiring, and on the list of my top three was photographer Matt Armendariz. He's a photographer that lives and shoots in Long Beach, California, and his true passion is food. He's primarily a food photographer, though both his website and his food blog have featured bits on both people and travel, so he really covers pretty much all the things I love! His blog is the number 7 food blog in the world, according to the Times Online, and he has been featured on Martha Stewart as well as in many magazines. I was so happy that he answered some of my questions about business and random studio questions, though I was really most pleased about him sharing his passion with me about food and photography. I have some of his answers below!



Are you a Californian (I am :) ) or have you lived elsewhere and has that influenced the way you work and conduct business?
I am originally from Austin, Texas but have lived in Chicago and San Francisco before settling in Los Angeles. I think this has influenced how I run a business, most definitely. Having worked with different designers and photographers in those cities has shown me the things I love about running a business, the types of services I value as well as the things I did not want to do. I'm not sure it's affected me creatively as much as it has in running a business.

What inspired you to become a photographer? Did you attend school for photography or are you self taught?

I'm self taught everything. I started as a graphic designer and art director. I was hiring all sorts of photographers for projects as well as the stylists, booking the location, creating the story, etc. I started having moments towards the end of my art direction career that became exceedingly frustrating: what i was getting back from the photographer wasn't what I was seeing in my mind. So I'd work with another photographer. And the same thing would happen. Mind you, the photos were perfect -- beautiful, correctly exposed, nothing wrong technically. But this issue kept nagging me until I realized that the problem wasn't with the photographer but with me. What I was seeing in my mind wasn't the same as what I was getting by putting together 4 people or how ever many to make an image. So I realized the only way to remedy this was to learn how to shoot myself. If I couldn't learn and figure it out then I'd have to learn to communicate better with the photographer or find someone that shot the exact way I wanted. Granted, that's a bit of a problem...one should hire a photographer based on what they can bring to the project. So becoming a photographer was the only logical choice I could have made.

For 3 years I never put down a camera. Not once. It went everywhere with me and I mean that literally. I had to learn to become comfortable with it in my hand, how to make it become an extension of my mind. I already had the creative part down -- I spoke the language of color, proportion and perspective fluently from all those years in design. What I needed to learn were the technical aspects, specifically f stop and aperture. Once those all started working together I began to make the images that I had in my head, it was a huge moment of self revelation. I haven't stopped since.


You said you like to shoot travel and people as well, have you ever considered shooting those as your primary focus? What is the allure to the food photography industry for you? You've said that all cuisine has beauty, but is that why you started/continue to shoot it?

I probably won't ever stop shooting food. It's the thing I love most. There are times when proportionately it's less but it won't ever be out of my system I'm sure. Also, with my background in food I feel as if it gives me an advantage on set. I can't tell you how many times I've let my big giant multimillion dollar clients know that something won't work on set or that this food subject isn't in season right now or culturally this group may like this photo but this other group would see it differently. And this is all just about food! I think the allure is that I know it, I breathe it, it's what I do even when I'm not shooting food. And we will always be taking pictures of food, always.

But back to my answer up above, that really explains why I started shooting food. By default I was in the food business and I was able to use my own images in my work once I felt like I was good enough.

Aaaand I'm Back!

I might not be in France anymore, but I find that I still think about writing a lot, as well as the fact that I'm HORRIBLE at keeping a journal, but I can type like nobody's business. I'm finally just getting back into the swing of things here in the states, and I'm all the way through mid-terms in my second to last quarter of SCAD! I only have two classes left that start in March; Senior Project and Alternative Processes.
I'm both thrilled to pieces to be finished (one of a handful of my graduating class from high school to actually finish in four years) and scared half to death. Due to a major change in my relationship status as of late, I find myself without a plan, a place that I want to move, a job that I want and a place to put my furniture in June. But, I still have my cat, Earnest, my camera and my ridiculous amount of spunk about life. So everything will be okay, because in the end, whatever is meant to be will happen. That's the outlook that I'm taking at least.
My (new) website should be up and running sometime this week! I've been working hard at trying to figure out what I want to put on it... I truly have so many photos. I think that France will have its own section, but that will take quite a while to sort through as I still haven't even looked at half of the photos that I took there. I don't even have any new work to really put up, I've found it hard to shoot after the intense overload of France. But, soon (hopefully my birthday, but probably graduation) I'll be getting a big, beautiful 5D Mark II, and then I will never want to put it down. It will be like falling in love with photography all over again.
But. It's late, the laptop is dying and I have a shoot in the morning.

Ahhhh, what a good feeling to write again.

The End.

The last nine weeks of my life have passed so fast that it all just feels like a blink. A warm, fuzzy, good feeling but stressful blink.
Hmmmm, how to sum up the last few weeks of Lacoste.
Finals were truly the hardest that I've ever had at SCAD due to the shorter quarter, the weather, the atmosphere of being in France, and of course because of the mountains of work that I had to accomplish. Vernissage was stressful as well, but really successful. The show itself looked absolutely wonderful, and Becks had her senior show set up, which was absolutely beautiful. We made almost 3,000 euros, though I didn't sell anything. Which is really okay, because I was kind of attached to all of the stuff that I had for sale. On top of the show going on, everyone's parents were in town to visit and see everything, and Bridget's mom Susan came and hang out with us :)
When the actual show was over we had the Bon Voyage dinner, which I expected to be really sad, but everyone was in such a good mood and really just happy to be spending time with each other. We really did have a drama free group for the most part, and it was just so nice to be surrounded by my friends and their families when around 7 weeks ago most of these people were still complete strangers to me.
Everyone who has been to Lacoste told me over and over again that it would change my life, and I knew that to some extent living in a foreign country for two months would of course change my life in some way. But the thing that changes your life is the people... That's what I'm going to miss the most about Lacoste. Yes, my classes were wonderful, and I did learn a LOT but this wasn't my strongest quarter in any of my classes. And yes, the landscape was amazing, but as slightly snobby as it might sound, I grew up with a stunning (but very different) view of my own. As gorgeous as South France is, the landscape looks more like California than anything else I've found in the states, and it made me homesick as well as making me want to road trip through California's wine country.
But. The people.
Every single person I met there influenced me in some way. Obviously there are the more prominent people, like Bridget, Breece and Becks, but everyone has opened my eyes in some way. It's hard to put a finger on it, but that's certainly the thing that has changed the most... that and the fact that in less than 2 months these people became my family and took in the flaws of living with me, seeing me cry, seeing me ridiculously silly and drunk, sharing a bed and cuddling, and dealing with my crazy ideas.... and they appreciate it all as just a part of me. They're the most honest relationships I've made in such a short amount of time. And I am going to miss every single part of that.
And of course living in a medieval French village.... that too.
But for now, that is all. I fly out tomorrow morning, and tonight I'm at a hotel in the city of lights just counting the hours until I get home.

It's like it was all a really good dream.

Time For An Update

Okay. Halloween in Lacoste... Crazy.
The French don't really celebrate Halloween, but SCAD puts on pumpkin carving, a haunted house, face painting and a couple other little things. So, lots of children running around. I got roped into face painting (not my strongest area.. because it wasn't real makeup) and did that for about 2 hours.
But, life before that has been crazy. We have so much stuff due this week, travel photos, photo stories and travel journals as well as submissions for Vernissage. We had our last traveling class last week, and we went to Gorge de Oppedette for a few hours and then came back and had a work session.
It's hard to write about these last two weeks because they've just flown by and been so busy!
Saturday night was fun though after the Halloween for the kids. Cafe de Sade put on a party for us with yummy punch (dangerous punch) and a dj so that we could dance, which was really nice. The whole night was just entertaining in general, most of us were dressed up so it was hilarious. It's been really rainy here and that means my motivation has pretty much gone out the window, but I have so much work to finish. I did a couple of photoshoots last Friday though when most of the campus was gone for another field trip (for a class that I'm not in). It was nice to be productive that day, when I had the studio and lab pretty much to myself.

Gorge de Oppedette

So many black cats!

This week has flown by as well, Monday I took a book making workshop where we learned how to different types of stitches for bindings and how to fold and assemble everything we needed. Tuesday was a full work day for both of my classes, 6 hours of paying attention to small details. Wednesday was critique for travel class, which went pretty well (Thankfully). After that it was just more work. On Thursday it was another work day all day, and then I decided to take a break and watch the new Robin Hood with Becca. We had a kind of early night, just working on our sketchbooks and our projects for class. Yesterday, I got to go to Ikea with Eleanor to get the frame orders for people who didn't get the frames that they needed in our frame lottery. Ikea in general is crazy, so Ikea with everything in French was completely overwhelming. We had lunch there (so good, I had salmon) and then headed back to campus. Everyone else was on another field trip so I had the entire studio to myself and got to print a bunch without anyone around. From there it was dinner and a few drinks down at the cafe and then a long night after that.

Halloween!

 

Pumpkins :)

Ashley.. my favorite airplane.

My bouquet of hair :)